Feeling foolish

That's me, today (just by way of a change.)

Finally got myself to the (what used to be called) optician (I can't spell the new title...) To my relief, everything checked out fine. I have to admit to still coming over just a bit apprehensive, in case anything has deteriorated in the previous twelve months, or in this case rather more than as I got a severe case of the round tuits. But all was well - very little change in the close vision and the distant is still absolutely fine for driving, I've got a whole line of letters to go before I'm in trouble! My friends the floaters are still not giving cause for concern, and apparently, something could be done if they get too bothersome, which I didn't know. So, all is looking good, and I;m just thinking that He Has Forgotten, when I hear the dreaded words "I'll just check your pressure, then."

Now, this very nice and efficient man doesn't use the puffer machines, which is one of the many reasons that the consultant recommends him. No, he anaesthetises and dyes the surface of the eyeball (pauses whilst half the congregation departs.) And then puts an instrument on it....at this point, as I type, I am starting to feel the room spin round, too. I have, shall we say, huge difficulty in tolerating this. I know that there are far worse things that could be happening, but I could only cope with those with the aid of strong drugs. This is, I guess, what would be in my Room 101. That and slugs. (Did I ever mention the gargantuan banana slug at Muir Woods?)

I kept flinching back. He put in more anaesthetic. I flinched back some more. And he decided to give up. I failed. For the first time, too. Every time before now, I have gritted my teeth and hung on in there, but today I just couldn't. I feel so stupid.

It's ok, there won;t be any problem, I got so thoroughly checked not so long since. But the shame. I was telling him that it wasn't just me, that my sister was just as bad if not worse, and I could see this look on his face - praise be she's not a patient of mine!

I continue to knit. Amazing how long an i-cord strap can take, but it is done now and I am on to the final bits. If it looks anything at all like, I'll put up a photo, if not - well, I will confess.

Gansey - I don't want an authentic look this time. Actually, having seen genuIne fishermen's jerseys at relatively close quarters, I can't imagine that I would ever want authentic. Not such close quarters as a friend of mine....ahem. A story best left in the mists of time.