Paralysis

Had to think how to spell that for a moment. Not a word in my regular lexicon.

I don't so much mean the ongoing state of winteritis - I hesitate to glorify it with a label such as SAD, I think that is over-stating the case - but the o-my-god-it-isn't-light-yet feeling I am prone to at any time of the day at the present moment, especially when uncaffeinated - and just how much longer can I keep this sentence going without crashing to a full stop before I start feeling as if I am in a silly programme on Radio 4?

See? No coffee.

What I am really talking about is the strange state that I found myself in in my own living room recently. I had a couple of new spinners visiting, not for an actual class (for various reasons which I won't go into) but just for a bit of a spin and a chat and I would chime in with advice, assistance, whatever, as appropriate.

All was going very nicely, they seemed happy, not too arduous for me. They would be going soon, I thought somewhat uncharitably, then I could get on with my own stuff. But seemingly, they were having such a pleasant time, that they were happy to linger, spin a bit more, chat.....

I had, I confess, rather drifted off in my corner, now that I wasn't performing, so to speak. Then, I was tuning back in and really wishing that I wasn't. One of them was going on at great length about how she lived with this elderly chap, and loathed the situation, but wasn't going to leave because she had more or less bullied him in to making his will leaving her a sizeable legacy and she was going to hang around until he popped his clogs. Which was likely to be fairly soon as his health wasn't all that good and it couldn't be soon enough for her. Plus a lot more poison as to how their lives together worked and how she treated him and so on.

OK, so I am naive. But I do know that of course this sort of thing happens all the time. This is my point - it was my home, my time, I hated what I was hearing and just didn't know how to stop it. Well, I did eventually by deflecting the conversation back to spinning. But it certainly left a nasty taste, both because I felt wussy because I had not spoken up, and because of the nature of the thing.

Ah, well. I spent what remained of the day crocheting and beading a little (not together, unfortunately, haven't mastered that yet.) Onward and upward.